Trains

Last week I rode a train to New York City from Lancaster and two days later I took one back home again. As I was whisked away across landscapes of farmland which blended into suburban subdivisions and then into urban height, I was also reading Sara Gruen's account of an American circus troupe in her novel, Like Water for Elephants. Throughout this narrative, I was taken back to the era of the Great Depression and was given a window into a very different world. It made me wonder what it would have been like herding the range of wild lifestock from one city to the next without either people or animals being harmed and all intact. My visions of these trips are chaotic and full of energy. No city was the same. No performance was exactly the same either.

I was then thinking about the ways train transport has shaped America, from the cattle industry in the late 1800s to the exploration of the West. Scenes from a Louis L'Amour Western come to mind. Hordes of Indians running alongside the trains in the middle of a vast prairie much to the horror (and delight) of passengers. Indeed train travel revolutionized our country as it developed. I see it when I take my kids to the Railroad Museum and to Strasburg Railroad. It certainly seems like a simpler time.

On a more somber note, I also think about the scenes I have read or seen in stories about the Holocaust: Night, Schindler's List, and The Hiding Place come to mind. Bodies stacked and packed in claustrophobic spaces, knowing their fate would be even worse than being shoved in the rickety train car. I remember walking through one of those cars at The Holocaust Museum and seeing the shoes of these victims and wondering how humans can be so cruel.

This one marvelous invention has been used for both good and evil and is like so much of what we create in the hopes of improving our world. It is only as good as those who use it. In itself it is neither good nor evil. I love trains and the hope they embody but I know that others would rightly think quite differently about these modes of transport.

New York Musings

Yesterday I had a New York casual day. I worked in a Tribeca cafe, had lunch with my bro at a Vietnamese noodle house in Chinatown, ate the most scrummy chocolate peanut butter bar at a Chelsea bakery, visited free art galleries in Chelsea, walked the High Line where I sat and read and wrote after a stroll, ate at a world renowned Italian restaurant in the theater district, and watched a thought-provoking off Broadway production before catching the train to my brother's apartment in the Upper West Side. It was relaxing and invigorating to think and wonder in this fine city.

It struck me how in New York one is inundated with all sorts of images of what constitutes "the good life". Billboards promise beauty, wealth, and power, not to mention narcissistic pleasure. As I strolled I pondered how my identity could be shaped by these sights and sounds and how empty I could feel since there is no way anyone could measure up to the ideals that assault my senses.

On the other hand, I think about God's ideal of perfection and being like Him and I also know there is no way in my own power I could measure up no matter how hard I would try. It's easy to just give up because there is no way I could achieve either ideal. However, I do not. Instead, I find a new way, one that is at peace with who I am right now, after all, I am created in God's image for His purposes. Simultaneously, I am always looking for ways to improve who I am as I move a little bit closer to being like Christ.

To that end, here are a few of my New Years resolutions: 1. Write 9 lines a day 2. Walk briskly three times a week. 3. Watch one documentary a week. 4. Quiet time at least 3 times a week. 5. Date night with Janet once a month. 6. Read 4 books a month. 7. Sing more often. 8. In bed by 10 pm, up by 6:30 am. 9. Play with my kids every day. 10. Do something I have always wanted to do but haven't yet done this year (see last year's Bucket List.).

I know I won't always make these goals but I will keep trying in an attempt to always become a better person but recognizing my limitations and being willing to be easy on myself as well.

Pulling it Together

I am coming home from five days away at NCTE Convention in Chicago. As with all conventions like this, I come away wishing I had gone to more sessions and feeling like I shortchanged my experience. I know that I can only take in so many new ideas and, with presenting and other new duties, five sessions is more than enough for me to mull over and to glean wisdom from. Maybe it's the teacher in me - always wanting to do more and to do better.

One of the goals I decided upon after this conference is to write 10 lines a day. This came about when I ran into my former colleague from Jakarta - Betsy Hall - and she encouraged me to do what she has been doing, thanks to the advice from a writer friend of hers. It must have worked because she now has the manuscript of a Young Adult novel that she has been working on for 8 years. I'm not sure yet what I will write. It could be my memoir or the film and literacy book I am itching to complete. It could also be a stab at fiction. One thing's for sure, I need to apply what I have instructed my own writing students to do - write every day. After all, that's the only way anyone can improve their craft - PRACTICE!

Finding serenity

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."

Serenity. What a calm and stable word. It conjures up strength during turbulent times. When life is crazy, it is the eye of the hurricane. "Be still and know that I am God." Peace. Calm.

When I think about it, I am perplexed by a myriad of pressures and conflicts, dramas and oddities. There are times when it is difficult to see the order or purpose in the swirl of it all but somehow I find peace in extraordinary places.

A slice of my life:

* A student contemplates suicide and turns to me as her only hope.
* My three young children clamor for my attention and all are in tears over some "issue" at hand.
* My colleagues are at odds with each other and ask me for advice in conflict resolution.
* My wife is ill and we don't know what is wrong.
* My preservice teachers are stressed and I need wisdom to give them what they need.
* In the span of 3 years, I lost both parents and two brothers

WHEW!

Am I glad that ultimately I don't need to have all the answers?
What I do need to do is remain hopeful and at peace and live this reality in tangible ways...

Balance

Life is ALL about balance. We are told the importance of a balanced diet. I have long ago given up balancing my checkbook but, most importantly, I am learning how to balance the range of roles I assume in any given day. As soon as my three year old son decides it's time to jump out of bed singing, my role as a weary father begins! Within minutes, as I juggle at least two children and get them their milk and breakfast while their mother sleeps, my role as a husband takes over. About an hour later, I am rushing out the door, ready to begin my role as a college professor which involves the multiple roles of teacher, researcher, writer, counselor, team builder, and friend. Alternately, I assume the role of brother, leader, lover, and mentor. To say it's a daunting job puts it mildly.
My roles often bleed into each other and at times, it is difficult to manage so many ways of living. I think of my pre-professional students who are currently struggling with this juxtaposition. I see them teeter between being a student and being a teacher and trying to figure out where the balance lies. That we need balance is not the issue. The question is how. After 45 years of trying to figure this out, I am learning to be patient with the process as I keep striving for this all elusive goal. Sigh.

Peace

How does one attain it and how can it be sustained? Whether a nation or a person, peace is often an illusive prize that seems just out of our grasp most of the time but when one is in its presence, all fear and mistrust melt and life takes on significant awe. I marvel at the ways people who are surrounded by turmoil can exhibit this trait. I remember being in Jakarta during the September 11, 2001 and my colleagues at my school commenting on my peace. (If they only knew) Just last year a student told me that they wanted to teach just like me - with grace and peace. Once again, I thought, "If only they knew"! In any case, it seems that one cannot force it; one can only long for it and wait and observe the conditions that bring it about.
My thoughts on peace are prompted by witnessing a good friend suffer incredible loss with resilience and joy - no small feat. His life was in danger and he lost his most expensive possessions and yet he exhibits peace in authentic and disarming ways. I think of Paul's admonition to the church at Philippi, "The peace of God that passes all understanding may keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Yes, that's what it is, peace that passes understanding, peace like a river, peace that keeps one centered, balanced, and which disarms even the most antagonistic intruders. May our days be filled with unabashed and unexplainable peace!

Books that inspired me this summer

My friend, Bret, encouraged me to blog about what I have been reading and so here's my initial stab at my evolving list:

I just read two books by English professor, Mark Edmundson. The first, Teacher: The One Who Made the Difference interested me because I am a sucker for a good teacher memoir. I had read reviews of it and thought it would satisfy my curiosity. Edmundson recounts his high school philosophy teacher who expected so much of his students and how that greatly impacted his own future teaching, not to mention his life. He goes back in time to when he was a football player who was headed to community college and how this teacher showed him how to think and the difference that made to him. The book is humorous, though a bit rambling and I was hoping there would be more substance on what it was exactly that this teacher did to engage his students. This is an important topic to me and I wanted more.

The second Edmundson book I read is aptly titled Why Read. This time Edmundson takes us to his own teaching of humanities and looks at why students need an integrated humanities course that is centered on great texts. He examines the kinds of thinking that these texts engender and the ways they can give our society hope and meaning. I really like his ideas and his compelling arguments. However, I am not a fan of his rambling style. His ideas run from one to the next but do not seem to be organized coherently. I may draw from this as I teach reading but only in segments as its argument is not always clear.

I would recommend both of these books but only for entertainment and interest, not instruction for how to read or teach. They helped me think about my own teaching and reading but didn't extend my thinking too much. Oh well.

Teacher: http://www.amazon.com/Teacher-One-Who-Made-Difference/dp/0375708545/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1314803329&sr=8-3

Why Read: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=why+Read&x=0&y=0