My Cancer Year

Yesterday I learned I have cancer - more specifically, basal carcinoma - a common skin cancer with fairly straightforward treatment. It came about when I was walking with my son on my shoulders about 18 months ago. He grabbed my forehead in a playful way and drew blood and since then it hasn't fully healed. My doctors have started asking questions and their worries turned out to be true.

Janet has not responded well. She tears up every time I mention it and I understand why. We have had a dreadful year full of pain in our family and then add to the fact that my birth mother died of skin cancer when I was young and those fears are well founded.

When life hits you hard in the groin, you may get up but you hobble, nonetheless. I guess that's the nature of life - unpredictable and messy.

In the midst of this craziness, God has blessed us with three beautiful children - one who is just 7 weeks old. Taking care of these gifts is what keeps me going in times like these. Knowing I have kids who depend on me for their livelihood and who unequivocally love me - at least for now helps me cope.

Like many people who have gone before me, I will go on and find beauty and strength in uncommon things: a child's giggles, a flourishing garden, a belly laugh with good friends at a pub or cafe, fresh produce, and relaxing music. I can look back on my life and remember the many wonderful occasions that shaped me. I can have courage that even in the midst of chaos and confusion, every day beauty can emerge and refresh my soul.