Books that inspired me this summer

My friend, Bret, encouraged me to blog about what I have been reading and so here's my initial stab at my evolving list:

I just read two books by English professor, Mark Edmundson. The first, Teacher: The One Who Made the Difference interested me because I am a sucker for a good teacher memoir. I had read reviews of it and thought it would satisfy my curiosity. Edmundson recounts his high school philosophy teacher who expected so much of his students and how that greatly impacted his own future teaching, not to mention his life. He goes back in time to when he was a football player who was headed to community college and how this teacher showed him how to think and the difference that made to him. The book is humorous, though a bit rambling and I was hoping there would be more substance on what it was exactly that this teacher did to engage his students. This is an important topic to me and I wanted more.

The second Edmundson book I read is aptly titled Why Read. This time Edmundson takes us to his own teaching of humanities and looks at why students need an integrated humanities course that is centered on great texts. He examines the kinds of thinking that these texts engender and the ways they can give our society hope and meaning. I really like his ideas and his compelling arguments. However, I am not a fan of his rambling style. His ideas run from one to the next but do not seem to be organized coherently. I may draw from this as I teach reading but only in segments as its argument is not always clear.

I would recommend both of these books but only for entertainment and interest, not instruction for how to read or teach. They helped me think about my own teaching and reading but didn't extend my thinking too much. Oh well.

Teacher: http://www.amazon.com/Teacher-One-Who-Made-Difference/dp/0375708545/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1314803329&sr=8-3

Why Read: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=why+Read&x=0&y=0

Getting Started

For some reason, I have had difficulty emerging from the haze of the end of summer and digging into the preparations of a new semester. Sure, my syllabi are in order and I have a good idea where I am headed - BUT I don't have the desire to attend to so much minutia that clutters these beginning. So many meetings and proposals and emails... I know they're a necessary part of this job but they make me weary and lacking imagination. My big question this semester will be: How can I maintain balance in my life. I feel my students' anxiety as they question how THEY can manage all that's expected of them. I ask the same question of myself. Perhaps I need to say "No" more frequently or find creative outlets for my stress. I am fortunate to be surrounded by interesting and challenging friends and colleagues and that I enjoy my "work". I just don't think I should be THIS weary at this early stage of the semester. Should I?

Week of the Surreal

It's a week before school starts and I am having trouble focusing. My syllabi are still works in progress, I am helping three friends move, and time with my family is energy-sapping albeit fun. More importantly, I am remembering my mother and father who passed away this week, my mom a year ago and my father four years ago.
I visited their grave with flowers today and said a prayer for our family who has gone through hell this year without them. I can only imagine how their presence would have made a difference as they learned about my brother's indiscretions which led to his arrest or my other brother's pride which kept him from talking to me or the arrival of my third child, another daughter. I can only imagine and I pray. I pray for peace and wisdom. I pray for comfort and strength.
I know in this fabric of life the stains are reminders of our broken world and give hope for healing and wholeness.
Until then, I wait and pray.

Dad Duty

In just a few short hours I will accompany five other dads and their toddlers on a train to Philly for a day at the Please Touch Museum. I know it's madness but it's just one of the many things we do for our kids. In one sense, it's nice to be able to do these crazy things with a community of guys who, though they are at least a decade younger than me, because of our shared state in life, we forge a unique bond.
No one said parenting would be easy but these moments when I get the chance to step back in time and enter into the world of my children are priceless. I am more aware than ever of my son's developing language and personality and I want to do what I can to fill his life with moments of wonder and inquiry. I want him to discover how big and wonderful his world is and encourage him to learn as much as he can about it.
Last year when we went with Janet's family, I was amazed at all that he could do even then in this museum and was looking forward to the time when we could take trips like this both as a way to bond and as a way to learn about the world around us.
Life is fleeting and, as so many of my friends have reminded me, these moments spent in quality time with our children will be gone before we know it. I want to be a parent who capitalizes on the opportunities to have fun with with my child and to give Janet a much needed break! Who needs to sleep anyway?

Morning Chaos!

No matter how much I may pray before I slip out of bed that I will be calm and happy and will show my kids love and a sense of humor, it never ceases to amaze me how quickly those early resolutions disintegrate with the reality of a world with selfish little people running around. It could be the infant crying from colic, my three year old son wanting to jump on me when I'm barely awake, or my 15 month daughter whining for an object that is out of her reach. Then they all want my attention and love and I'm just not in the mood to deal with the tears and the immaturity. Then I feel ashamed because, after all, they are only small children who have limited ways of communicating, much less exhibiting self control.
I then think about my own selfish cries for doing things my way. I want to be able to read in peace or go to a movie on my time or travel more but I can't - not at this stage of life. I know I am blessed but it still has its difficult moments, no matter how strong my resolve is. I imagine I will continue to fight these tensions until I die. As my inner spirit clashes with my desires which in turn clashes with the desires of my family, I hope I learn the meaning of consistent compromise that comes from love. I know I need to be willing to give up some of my pleasure - at least for the time being - in the interest of harmony and showing love and grace to my kids who are learning to grow up by watching me and the ways I sacrifice daily.
There were moments today when I sensed I had figured out a rhythm to my chaotic life and those moments felt really good. It was almost a surreal quality. I felt alive! These moments help me muddle my way through my own hypocrisy and force me to cling to moments of grace as assurance of hope that all will one day be right and my fears and insecurities that come from the daunting task of parenthood will subside.
Until then, I need to grit my teeth and smile and wait.