Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Getting Started
For some reason, I have had difficulty emerging from the haze of the end of summer and digging into the preparations of a new semester. Sure, my syllabi are in order and I have a good idea where I am headed - BUT I don't have the desire to attend to so much minutia that clutters these beginning. So many meetings and proposals and emails... I know they're a necessary part of this job but they make me weary and lacking imagination. My big question this semester will be: How can I maintain balance in my life. I feel my students' anxiety as they question how THEY can manage all that's expected of them. I ask the same question of myself. Perhaps I need to say "No" more frequently or find creative outlets for my stress. I am fortunate to be surrounded by interesting and challenging friends and colleagues and that I enjoy my "work". I just don't think I should be THIS weary at this early stage of the semester. Should I?
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I, too, feel the anxiety of struggling to keep my head above water. I have decided this weekend to look at one piece of my puzzle a time, checking off accomplished tasks as I complete them. The reality-based internship experience is quickly giving me the confidence to relinquish any pressure of worrying about grades for this semester. As I see how all the pieces of my academic life are intertwined, I choose to focus on growing in my classroom role and letting that inform my responses to class assigned readings. If it all connects in my heart and mind, everything will fall into place as it should. If not, I have no business asking any school to give me my own classroom. So, it's a very organic process as long as I allow the interlocking pieces to blossom. You always tell us to embrace the chaos and I now understand that advice.
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